Published on Medium

Can a tropical tree thrive in a desert? Heat, drought, sand storms. Those conditions would make it pretty tough to grow. No water, no life, right? 

With us human beings, it’s the same thing. When we are in the wrong environment fueled by negativity and drama, we suffer spiritually, and our well-being is affected. As a result, our physical body impacted. We absolutely can’t thrive and flourish in these conditions. 

Are you feeling depressed or discouraged? Could it be from being in the wrong social environment? You feel discouraged and unhappy when you surround yourself with the wrong kind of people. And by wrong, I mean, people who don’t match your vibration or simply put, bring you down– intentionally or unintentionally. 

How would you know if people around you are not in tune with your vibration? Very simple– you don’t feel good when you are with them or around them. Your body never lies, and you will feel it one way or another. It could be physically feeling ill or emotionally feeling agitated or distressed. 

Once you surround yourself with a supportive community, you feel empowered. When you receive love and support from your social environment, there is no reason for you to feel low and discouraged. You may feel down or depressed when you are in a state of lack; lack in love, lack-in kindness, and lack-in genuine, supportive relationships. Friends that inspire are those that empower others to feel great. They know everyone benefits by lifting each other up. 

What if you can’t stay away from negativity as it’s in your work environment or family member? It can become tricky when its someone unavoidable. In this case, I suggest not to engage (best you can). The best thing you can do is not play the game. Think of an invitation to a ‘drama’ that will take place in your life; you can confirm attendance or decline. What would you do? 

Similar to an invite, when someone offers you to participate, don’t ‘confirm attendance.’ Walk away and choose not to engage. Say to yourself, ‘I am consciously choosing not to play this game, or not to participate in this drama.’ When you engage in negativity and ego-war, you will only lose. And you lose twice! Once by losing your peace of mind and two, by losing part of yourself as you surrender to playing the game. 

Some people are luring you into drama and arguments as they are stimulated by shooting negative poison arrows. It makes them feel good. They hurt, and they want to hurt others. Since ‘misery loves company,’ find a peaceful company. 

The drama will always chase you until you decide to change your perspective and form new goals. One thing that I like to think when someone is trying to drag me into a drama is the mantra; ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys.’  By not participating, you kill the game—the game of ego and negativity. You teach the other person who wants to play and drag you down that you have better things to do, such as maintaining your happiness and well-being. 

It all comes down to self-love. How much you appreciate and take care of yourself. Think of it as a choice between two things; choosing your well-being or choosing to entertain the people around you who drain your energy. Always chose your well-being over pleasing those who don’t deserve your time! 

The most important thing in your world is you. And the goal is to be happy, both naturally and consciously. The most important lesson you can learn in these situations is a lesson in self-love. So love yourself! Easier said than done; however, practice makes perfect. 

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Here are some suggestions for spring cleaning your social life to elevate your happiness:

• Whoever is not benefiting your happiness and growth in a loving and meaningful way is out! Don’t try to be politically correct; walk away from whoever doesn’t serve your highest good. Think of it this way; if they don’t mind making you feel bad, then you don’t mind letting them go! 

• Surround yourself with supportive and good-vibe friends. Connect with people who ‘light your fire’; people who recognize the value and gifts you bring to this world. 

• Always choose your well-being over engaging with someone that doesn’t serve your highest good. Ask yourself; Would I feel empowered after meeting with that person? If the answer is no, then walk away. 

• If you spend a lot of time on social networks, think of it as your virtual living room that has to be ‘spring-cleaned’ as well. Remove anyone who makes you feel bad or anyone who doesn’t wish you well. The point is for you to be in a safe and supportive environment that contributes to good-vibes and positive growth.

• Don’t waste your energy on people who bring you down. Keep your energy for people who appreciate being in your presence. 

• If you can’t stay away from someone who is a negative influence at work, try to use compassion as your guide. Try to understand why this person behaves the way they do. Are they hurt? Are they lonely or insecure? If this exercise could change the way you see them and the energy clears between you, then beautiful. If not, please think for your highest good if this is the best workplace for you to thrive. There are lots of jobs and new opportunities out there to explore. Move forward!

• Create a new social environment for yourself that filled with positive experiences. 

Lastly, do not be afraid to remove people out of your life. I hear a lot, “I will end up being alone if I cut people out; I don’t want to be lonely.” The reality is that you are already lonely and deprived in that environment. I can assure you that when one door closes, another door opens. Once we feel good and clean all the ‘noise’ around us, we are able to attract the same-vibe people to appear in our life. 

Be bold; you were never meant to suffer; you were intended to live in complete harmony and joy. Like the tree in the desert, remove yourself from the drought and move to a thriving tropical environment.